Digital Ischemia


Cold Call: Day 5

A series of telephone conversations where truth comes away in layers – begins at Cold Call: Day 1

LACRIMOSA: Why do you always phone when I’m about to take a break?
SìMON: (D) Perfect timing.
LACRIMOSA: I don’t get my nice cuppae!
SìMON: And the rest of your day’s spent answering call after call, listening to perverts droning on about their special desires?
LACRIMOSA: And measurements.
SìMON: I thought you were telling them yours.
LACRIMOSA: I’m a receptionist, not a woman of negotiable affection.
SìMON: I thought you might have a dual role as a latex advisor.
LACRIMOSA: They should be called that.
SìMON: Or chrome consultant.
LACRIMOSA: What’s chrome?!
SìMON: All sorts of things: studs, dangle bars—
LACRIMOSA: I see you’ve taken off your safe search. Are you building up to admitting your fetish?
SìMON: Aye, I have a weird urge to speak to co-workers at tea break.
LACRIMOSA: So why am I in this conversation?
SìMON: I misdialled.
LACRIMOSA: That’s your story. But this is a premium rate number so I’m getting paid anyway.
SìMON: That’s a total story.
LACRIMOSA: Aye, that was a bit lame: obviously the fifty pence a minute doesn’t go to the, er, ‘service provider’.
SìMON: Is speaking filth worth thirty pound an hour? No, I still couldnae.
LACRIMOSA: What exactly is your job?
SìMON: That will have to wait to tomorrow.
LACRIMOSA: I’ll try to contain myself.
SìMON: If you cannae I’m sure there’s someone with a fetish for it.

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