Digital Ischemia


Cold Call: Day 10

A series of telephone conversations where truth comes away in layers – begins at Cold Call: Day 1

SìMON: (D) Hey. Are you alright? You never answered yesterday.
LACRIMOSA: Sometimes it takes me a while to get to the phone.
SìMON: A bit tied up?
SìMON: You don’t sound right.
LACRIMOSA: I’m pretty sore and tired. And that’s another gift for BDSM puns.
SìMON: Playing too hard?
LACRIMOSA: Is that your best effort?
SìMON: What’s going on, really?
LACRIMOSA: I’ve had it a while. It comes and goes.
SìMON: Have you—sorry if this is patronising—have you seen physios and suchlike?
LACRIMOSA: Aye, the whole panoply: physio, osteopath, neurology, ecto—what was that one?
SìMON: Ectoparasite-ologist?!
LACRIMOSA: Hah. Aye, those; even psychologists.
SìMON: They think you’re making it up or?
LACRIMOSA: Just deluded. No, oddly they thought I might be a tad depressed, you know, with my life as well as my body grinding to a painful halt.
SìMON: Harsh. And what did they all say?
LACRIMOSA: Oh, all sorts, but in the end the tests my GP did were conclusive enough: arthritis.
SìMON: Is it a special sort? I mean obviously you… er, seem a bit younger than the usual sufferers.
LACRIMOSA: Aye, too old for ‘juvenile arthritis’; too young for—what is it—’geriatric arthritis’?
SìMON: So you have mid-life arthritis?
LACRIMOSA: Mid-life crisis arthritis! That sounds good! Almost makes up for feeling like a ninety-year-old woman.
SìMON: I’m sorry to—if you don’t want to speak about it…
LACRIMOSA: I don’t mind, every once in a while; I can’t live in a fantasy the whole time.
SìMON: What do you do, when you’re no’ masterminding a deviant business empire?
LACRIMOSA: It’s quite time-consuming, actually: thinking up ridiculous marketing strategies for fetishes, then waiting for some gullible idiot to call so I can trot them out.
SìMON: Happy to help. Does it help?
LACRIMOSA: It’s a distraction. These things arrive in my head and it gets too full so I have to get them out somehow.
SìMON: Really?
LACRIMOSA: I get a lot of spam calls. It’s a good deflection. How’s your aunty?
SìMON: She’s actually doing better. I think my daffodils turned the corner for her.
LACRIMOSA: Her daffodils.
SìMON: You should try them.
LACRIMOSA: I’ll try anything. Right, I’m away to steal some flowers.

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