Digital Ischemia

24/07/2017

Cold Call: Day 11

A series of telephone conversations where truth comes away in layers – begins at Cold Call: Day 1

SOUND: PHONE RINGS
LACRIMOSA: Hello.
SìMON: (D) Any better today?
LACRIMOSA: A bit.
SìMON: I was thinking about your…condition, obviously. You seem pretty calm about it.
LACRIMOSA: I am generally calm. You can’t really be hysterical with clingfilm and chains hanging off everywhere.
SìMON: Hanging aff your what?!
LACRIMOSA: Bad choice of words. Very lax, Lax – that’s my nickname by the way in case I’m just baffling you.
SìMON: Right, right. I wouldn’t’ve gone for ‘Lax’; I would’ve figured you as a ‘Mosey’.
LACRIMOSA: I didn’t get that far: I got scared by the ‘crim’ bit.
SìMON: How are you so calm then? Or were you always?
LACRIMOSA: I was a melodramatic adolescent – tramping the streets at night, rain mixing in my tears, composing hideous poetry…
SìMON: You did that an’ all?
LACRIMOSA: Not dramatic enough?
SìMON: Pedestrian.
LACRIMOSA: OK, one time I got a bit…’despondent’ is what the doctor says—about my health: another chronic thing not shifting—and decided to dare my body to survive. Basically out the comfort zone and say to it ‘do you want to live? Do you have a survival instinct? Operate or die!’ (PAUSE) Hello?
SìMON: Hello. Hey. I’m here, I just—I’m just a bit shocked, well, stunned—startled.
LACRIMOSA: Are you all of those?
SìMON: One at a time, but things are changing fast. It sounds like you had, well, half a mind to kill yourself.
LACRIMOSA: I know it sounds like I was seriously depressed, but I really wasn’t. I was quite calculating. And the doctor signed off on it.
SìMON: They maybe thought you were going on one of those health pilgrimages.
LACRIMOSA: It was a bit, like those folk with cancer taking the notion to walk across North America.
SìMON: Did you go?
LACRIMOSA: Aye. Packed myself on a ferry for the seasickness – all part of the masochism. Chugged up to Stavanger, Kristiansand, Bergen… Then I just started walking out the town, until I got lightheaded and keeled over.
SìMON: Obviously somebody found you.
LACRIMOSA: You’re nae use for suspense. I was lucky in that, but it was a popular path, seemingly, so I was never in real danger. Curses.
SìMON: Who found you?
LACRIMOSA: My ex.
SìMON: I wasnae expecting that twist.
LACRIMOSA: I mean at the time he was my ‘pre-‘. Doing fieldwork from a gorgeous log hut by the fjord.
SìMON: Boffin?
LACRIMOSA: Marine biologist. Probably still is. He was pretty fervent. I learned the word ‘fecund’ from him. And ‘brackish’. He said—he always made a joke that he thought I was a beached whale, lying there, totally inert. Otherwise he wouldn’t’ve approached me.
SìMON: A whale? Where was this again?
LACRIMOSA: Norway? You’re supposed to say I couldn’t possibly look like a beached whale.
SìMON: Missed my cue there. Have to go, sorry.
LACRIMOSA: Bye.

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