Digital Ischemia

19/08/2018

Wratislaw part 8 of 10

A drily hyperbolic, humorous short story – a pianist with a passion for Janáček’s music finds the composer’s unrequited infatuation is part of the bargain

Wratislaw series begins at part 1

The closeness of Kamila’s voice is startlingly. “Still in the dark, Wrati?”
“Utterly.”
“Feel better for clawing at things?”
“No! How do you do that silent flitting and pouncing?!”
“I just walk carefully.”
“You pounced on me this afternoon in that…Schrödinger’s egg carton! And you’ve been teasing me all around this…”
“I promised you would see me.”
He curses himself for forgetting. He could have played a much cooler game. As cool as his sopping arse. Never too late.

Wratislaw switches topic. “Should I be concerned that you’re in Glasgow?”
“I’m not stalking you.”
“Evidently I’m stalking you. Badly.”
“You are not difficult to see: you look like a tattie-bogle!” Bless her, she speaks every blasted language better than him.
“Nature has not been kind to this suit. I just thought you might be fomenting revolution…type thing.”
“At the BBC?”
“Or through the BBC? Why are you doing whatever with the BBC?”
“It factors into a project.”
“That’s super-clear.”
“How is this your business?”
“I remember after Wrocław all sorts of citizen movements, democracy protests, suchlike, suddenly got turbo-charged.”
“You were not there.”
“I read newspapers! I was too scared to go back!”
“I thought there might be another reason, like you got your research.”
“You know I didn’t.”

Kamila wavers. Wratislaw feels a rush of desperation.
“Don’t vanish again!” He sounds panicked. His arse is soaking. Eels are probably on the verge of penetrating.
She continues softly. “Where did you get stuck?”
“You questioned my fundamental motivation for making music. ‘Because humans always have’ wasn’t enough. Neither was ‘because we need it’. Or ‘because it’s glorious’. You always came back with ‘why?'”
“I had odd ideas about our most profound learning being through relationship. Music somehow came into that – a way of engendering empathy…something like that. I could not get traction with it; you were no help.”
He can certainly empathise with mental free-wheeling.

Wratislaw refocuses on his stuckedness: the sheer tonnage of his inertia. “I probably shouldn’t say this, it being my livelihood, but sometimes music isn’t enough. Sometimes you need words as well. Even though music is raw emotion and travels straight to your heart and the primitive parts of your mind, still people interpret that emotion differently according to their individual biases.”
“We need song, opera?”
“Just sometimes we need to talk.”
“What do you want to say?”
He has run right into her trap. Again. Entangled in the cat’s cradle of his personal hydra. How to disempower it… What does he want to say?
“That I was enchanted…by you. That I thought you felt…something… And then you vanished, like a…dryad in the mist!” As ever, Janáček floats just beyond his grasp.
“I thought this was what you wanted.”
“To be abandoned?! In the midst of a rush of passion?!”
“Why would I want to attach myself to a comet?”

…continues at part 9

1 Comment »

  1. […] …continues at part 8 […]

    Pingback by Wratislaw part 7 of 10 | Digital Ischemia — 20/08/2018 @ 09:26


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