Digital Ischemia


The Twelve Days of Twistmas part 2/12

The Christmas song twisted into a series of linked short tales, fabricated around tortuous puns. Begins at part 1.

Before tea, let alone breakfast, I was at the pantry bolt to check on Santa Partridge. I’d left her stocked up with seeds and water, and some handy shredded brown paper packing. I’d also left the window open enough for her to depart if she wanted. In a pantry this chill breeze could only aid food preservation; not like the glass was double-glazed or anything fancy.

Yesterday she had not been for leaving, nor for being lifted, and I was not in the mood for being dictatorial. No idea where partridges spend winter. She didn’t seem frightened as she was behaving nicely. I double-checked all my provisions anyway.

There she was, nestled in paper, blinking warily at me. Most of the seed gone. Most of the water over the floor. Still no shit. Very well behaved bird. Window as it was, seemingly. I hadn’t thought to booby trap it with thread or whatever. Wouldn’t want to garrotte a partridge.

I wittered away to the bird, rinsing and refilling her saucer, placing another pile of seed. As I bent to check her papery nest was sufficient, I caught sight of something vivid green under her ample chest. Not paper, not plumage, not shit. I cautiously reached in and tugged. She lurched sideways, still blinking, as it came out from under her.

A bright green woollen coaster. No, a hand-knitted mitten. It was half-way evolved to a fingered glove, but the budding phalanges were evenly spaced around the edge rather than at the finger end. The tapered thumb tip was adorned with two dark beads. Not very practical. I left the other one keeping Partridge’s belly warm and took this through to ponder with my tea.

The glove had hexagonal ridges skilfully worked into the knitting over the back. I tried it as a mitt for holding a too hot cup of tea, but it was too slippery. Very sweet effort, though, by somebody. Eventually I got bored with it and left it skulking by the fruit bowl while I went to research partridge natural habitat with a vague notion of repatriating her.

Entirely forgotten, I wandered by later in the day and glimpsed the green creature paddling around Fruit Island.

Two turtle gloves.

The Twelve Days of Twistmas continues at part 3

1 Comment »

  1. […] The Twelve Days of Twistmas continues at part 2… […]

    Pingback by The Twelve Days of Twistmas part 1/12 | Digital Ischemia — 26/12/2018 @ 11:18

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If you spot a typo, I shall gnaw off an unworthy phalange.

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