Digital Ischemia

30/12/2018

The Twelve Days of Twistmas part 6/12

The Christmas song twisted into a series of linked short tales, fabricated around tortuous puns. Begins at part 1.

Things often go whump in the night. Two or three days later I discover a fallen box or a crockery avalanche or small dazed bird. I now had a surfeit of dazed birds. We were getting used to each other.

The morning seemed bright so I got cracking with feeding duties. Reversing my new grain supply trolley (mini wheelbarrow) out the back door, my heel stepped in something crunchy and soft. Not a creature, thankfully. Snow. A considerable whumpful, having built up on the roof edge beyond teetering point. Apparently that north-easter had collided with the more usual sodden south-wester. Abandoned wheels. Inappropriate vehicle.

The chickens were most patient as I brought their grain in unsteady scoopfuls. This day was Narcisse’s turn to present her effort. However, her egg was more a cylinder; a tub with a screwed lid. I unscrewed. A generous dollop of goup. Slightly melted across the top by warm nether regions. I cautiously sniffed. Goose fat. That one would be past her laying days then. Cooked.

I turned toward the hut. An ominous shadow fell across the sun. Something on the roof was eclipsing the sun. Something new. Tricky to identify, what with the snow albedo and the sun corona. A scintillating lateral thought prompted me to walk around the other side of the hut and look from there.

A sleigh. All wooden curlicues and shiny varnish. Perfectly balanced on the roof apex. Rather seasonal. And impressively quietly landed.

I completed the feeding round with my mind on the roof. I spent the rest of the morning fretting over whether the sleigh was less unsafe to be left where it was or to be dislodged. By the end of lunchtime the allure of the snow had won. I hoped the pilot wasn’t wanting it back just yet.

Santa Partridge, and Nicole, Narcisse and Noelle were persuaded into a makeshift bunker constructed badly from empty grain sacks and old planks at a safe distance. Two collared doves were co-opted to lasso the front of the sleigh. I cleared an escape path and tentatively pulled the rope. A crunch, a scrape, a shuddering crash and a lot of luck.

One of the collared doves found this such a thrill she alighted on the ‘windshield’ and perched there like a mascot. Partridge and chickens settled with a little stability straw for corners. Tow rope sorted. Somewhat resistant to gliding initially, but I’m sure you’ve figured the solution to that more quickly than me.

Six go greased-sleighing? Ah, who cares?

The Twelve Days of Twistmas continues at part 7

1 Comment »

  1. […] The Twelve Days of Twistmas continues at part 6… […]

    Pingback by The Twelve Days of Twistmas part 5/12 | Digital Ischemia — 31/12/2018 @ 10:42


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

If you spot a typo, I shall gnaw off an unworthy phalange.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: